I’ve been on a “journey” since birth I feel. I’ve definitely made some good decisions, and some terrible ones. I’ve been through the spectrum of emotions being, happy, sad, relaxed, stressed, pissed, elated, let down, confident, smart, and not so smart…etc. I’ve had really fat days, where I ate my feelings, and really skinny days, where it didn’t matter what I ate. I’ve had drunk days, and then those days after where I paid for the drunk days.
But most days I have now, revolve around me wondering, “Am I doing the right thing?”
I always had this stubborn, unrelenting, subconcious knowledge that once I was done with school, I was going to branch out on my own, and be a designer and an artist. I knew that I truly wanted to do it my way. Not because I felt like I was too good to do it any other way, I just knew that to me, this is my art, and my life; so why shouldn’t I follow my own path… Even when it may not be the conventional one.
I’ve grappled with this idea over and over in my head; taking the “convetional” path.
To me that path goes something like this:
1. Graduate. (Check for me)
2. Intern (Lot’s of Checks for me, too many to count, lots of blisters from running errands in heels)
3. Get Entry Level Job (Yes, Check here as well. Also, at this point realizing that this entry level job makes you somewhat happy, but completely broke, and .25 cent wing night and McD’s dollar menu starts to sound super appealing)
4. Get Another Entry Level Job (Now, this is where the Checks stop for me, because I more or less solely contribute my first job into singlehandedly making me dislike everything I was doing, and become a chunky, self-hating mess of a person)
So, here I will go on with my list… Where I am only speculating on what actually happens for people who follow this path…
5. Get a Promotion (Yay!)
6. Build a Network (Hooray!)
7. Get Health Benefits (And if you’re super lucky, dental, Woo!!)
8. Get Offered Better Job (That has more benefits, and a better view, Yesss!)
9. Have a Family (You can have a litte “Jr.”! I’m sure this part if fun for most people, until they get divorced! just kidding.)
10. Invest in a home (Yay, you have assets!)
11. Use your life savings and retire, live happily ever after.. (Hooray, Success!)
Now I know I definitely jumped ahead a little at the end, but between step 10 and 11, a lot of things probably happened, that I didn’t want to list.
So, I often sit and wonder, what experiences I am missing out on in this conventional parth. I think about the “what if’s” and “shoulda, woulda, coulda’s”….
But then again, screw that path.
I’ve decided that I’m pretty happy in my choice to do things the only way I know how, which is to just do them. It is pretty incredible to realize that we are all capable of manifesting the things we want, it just takes energy, time, patience, and longevity– which I am still learning to have more of.
But still, I’ve managed to create the first step of the dreams I have always had for myself. And to me, that’s a huge success, even if it is not measured in conventional terms of bonuses, and promotions.
We all need to be inventors at some point, and take risks. To me, thats what living life is about!
I know I don’t know everything, but I’m willing to learn. I also know that I’m a little naive, but in being so, I think it lets me be a dreamer, and thats OK because those are the things that keep me going.
Thanks for Reading… This one didn’t have much to do with Fashion and Style, but felt appropriate for me to write about this week!